morning coffee // Re-doing the Un-doable

I have doomed us all. It cannot be undone. Again. 

morning coffee // The Man at My Desk

I have a routine every morning. I set my backpack in my desk chair, unpack it, set it under my desk, log on, clock in, and drink my morning coffee. Then I check my ticket queue and start working. This has been my daily exercise, with little variation, for over four months.

It was startling, then, to arrive at my desk this morning and see that I had already finished everything.

morning coffee // The Men’s Room

There are men in the men’s room.

morning coffee // There’s Something in the Water

I can’t drink from the water cooler anymore. There’s something in it.

morning coffee // Everyone is Dead, Maybe, Possibly

I don’t mean to complain. I’m not complaining. I’m not a complainer, per se, but I’ve been the only team member to consistently show up to work for over three weeks. 

morning coffee // My Notebook’s Trying to Warn Me

Someone’s sending me messages after hours, I think. 

morning coffee // Bill Gets Burned Alive

I burned Bill today.

WITP // Stop Eulogizing the Living.

The following post contains misquotes and inaccuracies. I have the correct statements scattered somewhere around this office, but I don’t feel like looking them up. I’m not sorry. Deal with it.

morning coffee // Bill Gets a Haircut

I gave Bill a haircut today. Now he’s bigger than ever.

morning coffee // A Third Inexplicable Leaf

Bill, my desk plant, keeps growing. He won’t stop growing. Dear God, make him stop growing.