I have doomed us all. It cannot be undone. Again. Continue reading morning coffee // Re-doing the Un-doable
I have a routine every morning. I set my backpack in my desk chair, unpack it, set it under my desk, log on, clock in, and drink my morning coffee. Then I check my ticket queue and start working. This has been my daily exercise, with little variation, for over four months.
It was startling, then, to arrive at my desk this morning and see that I had already finished everything. Continue reading morning coffee // The Man at My Desk
There are men in the men’s room. Continue reading morning coffee // The Men’s Room
I can’t drink from the water cooler anymore. There’s something in it. Continue reading morning coffee // There’s Something in the Water
I don’t mean to complain. I’m not complaining. I’m not a complainer, per se, but I’ve been the only team member to consistently show up to work for over three weeks. Continue reading morning coffee // Everyone is Dead, Maybe, Possibly
Someone’s sending me messages after hours, I think. Continue reading morning coffee // My Notebook’s Trying to Warn Me
I burned Bill today.
The following post contains misquotes and inaccuracies. I have the correct statements scattered somewhere around this office, but I don’t feel like looking them up. I’m not sorry. Deal with it. Continue reading WITP // Stop Eulogizing the Living.
I gave Bill a haircut today. Now he’s bigger than ever.
Bill, my desk plant, keeps growing. He won’t stop growing. Dear God, make him stop growing. Continue reading morning coffee // A Third Inexplicable Leaf