morning coffee // Everyone is Dead, Maybe, Possibly

I don’t mean to complain. I’m not complaining. I’m not a complainer, per se, but I’ve been the only team member to consistently show up to work for over three weeks. 

morning coffee // Bill Gets Burned Alive

I burned Bill today.

morning coffee // Bill Gets a Haircut

I gave Bill a haircut today. Now he’s bigger than ever.

morning coffee // A Third Inexplicable Leaf

Bill, my desk plant, keeps growing. He won’t stop growing. Dear God, make him stop growing.

morning coffee // What I Saw at the Top

It was a snug fit, but I managed to pull myself up from the bottom of the lunch box. 

morning coffee // The Hole at the Bottom of my Lunch Box

How much time passes at the bottom of a lunch box? Minutes? Hours? None at all?

morning coffee // Someone’s Eating My Lunch

My lunch is gone. I didn’t eat it.

morning coffee // A Second Inexplicable Leaf

The leaf I pinned to my cubicle wall is growing. 

morning coffee // The Great Green Eye in the Window

All hail the window!

morning coffee // The Light in the Window

That window is oppressive.